Maternal Love

To be honest, I don’t think there’s any other love greater than maternal love. The feeling of knowing that your child was created from you and your loved one creates a bond stronger than that of friends and arguably family. Being a mother, you want to do everything you can for your child: to take care of them, love them, make sure they’re healthy, and to ensure they’ll always be happy.

But the problem with this kind of love is that it can become twisted. A lot of the time, mothers tend to confuse happiness with success and money. Sure they’ll say they just want you to be happy and that they’ll support any decision you make with your life, but in actuality they’ll probably back out on this and push you to do things you don’t want to do. I have a sister who didn’t really think she was academic nor athletic, but she knew she was good at taking care of children. Her decision was to become a social worker and possibly become a teacher or daycare worker. At first, my mother supported this while my sister was in high school, thinking she would change her mind about being a social worker. However, my sister stuck to this thought. After becoming a senior, my mother became worried for her. She started to push her to become a doctor, a nurse, or even an engineer. She was so fixated on the thought that you have to be a successful person with a lot of money when you grow up in order to be happy. And to be a “successful” person, you absolutely have to be working in the STEM field. Or so she thought.

So my sister went into college with a biology degree. She didn’t do so great, and ended up having to switch majors. What she chose was the sociology major. Seeing there wasn’t any other choice, my mother finally accepted this decision, although reluctantly. After watching all of this, I realized my mother had just gone through a complete circle. She went from “accepting” my sister’s decision, to rejecting it, to accepting it again. What was the point in rejecting my sister’s decision? If she could have seen that there was nothing wrong in majoring in sociology sooner, she could have saved so much money and time.

I don’t think my mother intended to hinder my sister or her happiness. She had the best intentions in mind, but her maternal love became twisted and made her think that success + money = happiness. A lot of mothers believe this for some reason. I really don’t believe that this is the case. So if you’re a mother, please rethink your decisions and don’t force your child to do what they don’t want to do. If they’re making the wrong decisions, then it’s fine and even encouraged to intervene. But choosing a certain life career is not a wrong decision, and your child can most definitely be trusted to make this decision on their own. It’s okay to try to help them and encourage them, but don’t be forceful about it.

 

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